For Dallas Mavericks guard Caron Butler, this is literally the last straw.

Butler has a habit of chewing straws to release tension during games, reportedly going through an average of 12 straws a game. He says he has been doing it since he was a teenager, and after a while “it became one of those things you keep doing”. Innocent enough, right?

Wrong. On Thursday the NBA continued to resemble the government of communist Russia, banning straws from NBA games, along with just about any other way to show a little personality. NBA Vice President for basketball communications Tim Frank said, “It’s a safety issue, period”.

I get what the NBA is claiming. They don’t want an NBA player choking on a straw and dying in front of 20,000 fans in the arena and millions more at home. But I’m still not buying it.

What this really boils down to is David Stern’s continued quest to thwart creativity in a game that desperately craves it. First he altered the dress code, banning “informal” clothes from locker rooms and press conferences. Now he’s putting an end to chewable plastic.

Stern wants a disciplined league. And he has one. But at what cost? Stern has effectively turned the NBA into a league of nameless, characterless faces, playing basketball and leaving all personality and emotion at the door. In an attempt to keep control over his players Stern has squashed all the qualities that make them likeable in the first place. Should MJ have been fined for sticking out his tongue? Was that some sort of inappropriate gesture against the league and its higher-ups? That debate, like this one, is utterly ridiculous.

I guess all I’m saying is David needs to relax. Sit in the hot tub or get a massage or something. Let all your troubles drift away. The NBA is fine, and a straw in the mouth of Caron Butler isn’t going to change that fact.